As we move ever closer to the summer holidays, I find myself thinking about themes that are coming up in parent work regarding travel plans. Often, difficult memories loom large in the minds of many families with neurodivergent children when thinking about holidays. From episodes in the airport to challenges of staying with extended family or friends, something imagined as the epitome of family togetherness, in reality, can become complicated, draining and downright hard.
I am also aware for those with more than one child, there is often an issue around parity. For example, when one child is neurodivergent and the other is neurotypical, sometimes two different sets of rules apply.
Tricky!
Whilst I will look at this issue of parity in a future post, the following may help facilitate conversations within the family, including between children. This can help everyone understand each other a bit more.
Although I am not looking to lump neurodivergent differences together, for the sake of getting to the heart of this post, I thought it would be useful to share a few broad thoughts around traits that many neurodivergent children may share.
Common ground for some
Preparing a child with sensory and self-regulation differences for a holiday journey can feel daunting. A prime example being a busy airport - crowded with people and noise bouncing off hard surfaces; getting through security with all its procedures; sitting in the confined space of the plane with the changing air pressure; the list goes on!
Over the years and with the constructive and creative thinking of MANY families, here are a few tips I have compiled to help manage moments of over-stimulation, changes of environment and routine, and, of course, challenges with attention and impulse control. However you are travelling, hopefully the following will offer constructive food for thought.
Tips for Travel
This is far from an exhaustive list, but hopefully it will help give a sense of what may be useful to think about in advance:
Discuss the trip in advance (try the old ‘show and tell’ approach): Talk to your child about the upcoming journey well in advance. Explain how you will be travelling to your destination (plane, car, ferry, train) and what to expect whilst in transit.
A visual of the destination: Wherever you are staying, at a hotel, with friends or family, give your child as much context around this as you can. Ideally this will include pictures of people and your accommodation. If you are staying in a hotel, visit the hotel’s website. If there is a picture of the room they will be staying in, even better! Essentially build as much context as you can to take the uncertainty out of the destination.
Additional tip: If you already know you will be eating in particular restaurants and the menu can be viewed online, review this beforehand so your child won't worry about what they will be eating.
Create a visual travel schedule: Use a visual schedule or checklist to outline the steps of the journey, including packing and leaving home. For example, if you are travelling by plane, include going to the airport, waiting in line, boarding the plane, and the flight itself. This can help your child understand the sequence of events and what to expect.
Additional tip: If you are travelling by plane during the flight you can often use websites like Seatguru to see the layout of the plane you will be in.
Pack Entertainment: I realise most families do this, but it still felt worth mentioning. Consider interests and preferences when selecting 'in transit' activities. Bring along a variety of entertainment options to keep your child occupied during long periods in confined spaces (plane, car, bus, train, etc). This could include books, colouring books, puzzles, handheld games, or a tablet loaded with games and movies.
Use Noise-Cancelling Headphones: The noise and stimulation of busy places while you are in transit can be overwhelming. Consider using noise-cancelling headphones to help block out distractions and create a calmer environment for your child.
Plan Movement Breaks (especially for those with ADHD): Allow your child opportunities to move around and stretch their legs during the journey. It is a good idea for you to prompt this periodically and not wait for them to start to get agitated. Take short walks around rest stops, train stations, airport terminals during layovers, etc. If you are flying, encourage kids with ADHD to get up and walk around the cabin during the flight when it's safe to do so.
Bring Comfort Items: Pack comforting items from home, such as a favourite toy, blanket, or stuffed animal. These familiar items can provide a sen se of security and help your child feel more comfortable in an unfamiliar environment like a train station, ferry port or airport
Practice grounding techniques to help manage stress: Teach your child simple mindfulness or relaxation techniques to help them manage any anxiety or restlessness during the journey. Deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided imagery can be effective tools for calming the mind and body.
Troubleshoot strategies for self regulation in advance: This is not just about your child but also what your child can expect from you should a difficult situation arise that demands your attention or if there are travel delays. Think about what works at home and how this might be adapted for travel.
Be flexible and kind to yourself: I realise this is often easier said than done as travelling with a neurodivergent child can be unpredictable. Parents often say that remembering to be kind to themselves (as no one is perfect!) is part of feeling able to remain flexible. Parents also often say this mindset helps the whole family feel more able to manage challenging journeys.
Straight from the source
The following videos offer some excellent advice from those who understand the challenges of travelling as a neurodivergent person from first hand experience. These videos may articulate things your child is not yet able to express.
@TheAspieWorld: Top tips for travel with autism
Daniel Jones was diagnosed autistic and ADHD in adulthood. When looking information and tips on autism he could not find any relatable information so he started his own YouTube channel with videos to help others with autism or on the path to diagnosis.
This channel is an ADHD toolbox -- a place to keep all the strategies Jessica McCabe has learned about having & living with ADHD.